ArtRocket

Hey would you know where I could find some art? Oh. Thanks.

I am a Sweaty Bastard

I don't think there's any denying it to myself anymore - I am a sweaty
bastard. Yesterday I went to do an interview in Griffith Park and I
wore a collared shirt and walked to the location cause I can. Halfway
up the walk I looked down to see pools of sweat forming in my blue
shirt, which made it look like reefs underneath the surface of the
fabric. When I got there I said hello to my friends and had to stand
on the porch, catching some nice up-breezes in an effort to dry out my
shirt before the interview. And I admit it now. I am a a sweaty
bastard.

I throw out most of my collard shirts because of pit-stains. I've
tried every possible type of deoderant and or anti-perspirant that
claims that it doesn't leave anything on shirt, and I can tell you now
- they're all wrong. A persistent sweat-gland and an armpit that's
determined enough can ruin a shirt the color of sweat, trust me. I
took this picture attempting to look cool / quirky and all I can think
of when I see it is me looking stupid / sweaty. And I don't know what
to do about it.

Which is making me sweat.

ThoughtRocket - July 19 08

"Hi I'm looking for domestic violence resources."

BigRedNoseRocket

This is where you recycle clowns.

ZizRocket

I dunno what the big deal is. She went from a dude with acne to an
ugly chick without.

UhYeahRocket

Well I should hope so...

NotInTheMoodRocket

All these fucking people smiling at me...

VaugeAndDeepRocket

Start what, taking action or being afraid?

START WHAT?!

GottaStopRocket

I... I think I have something of a medical marajuana problem...

ThingsAreACominRocket

And so am I.

OwTowelRocket

Kinda looks like the towel is wincing.

OnePretentiousPlateRocket.

One love. One vibe. One hundred dollars to fill up the tank.

ThanksALotRocket

LA you are a cold bitch.

JustMadeItRocket

All hail Stanley Kramer, the least famous person on the Hollywood walk
of fame.

MyKindaOfficeRocket

Now this is a job I'd show up on time for.

ExRocket

"My Ex-Girlfriend"

RackRocket

LA's the only place you'll see a manequin with fake tits.

IHearYaRocket

So the surgery is on.

Some of you may know that I am almost totally deaf in my left ear.
Because of a long life of inner, middle, upper and lower ear problems
I have lived with basically no hearing in my left ear much to the
annoyance of people in bars and anyone on my left side. Agitated by a
never-ending string of ear infection, my auditory woes ran the gamut
from station tubes, surgery on the middle ear, a bacteria dissolving
the ear drum after surgery, ear-plugs for the hole that the bacteria
dissolved and finally another surgery to seal the hole that was
created after the first surgery went south - the whole ordeal
resulting in a properly sealed ear drum and useless acoustics from the
left side-on.

But then I discovered the ear popping trick.

From about when I was fourteen I discovered that whenever I'd go high
up in elevators or lift-off in a departing plane, I'd momentarily get
hearing back in my left ear. The second I swallowed, de-pressurizing
my middle ear, the hearing would leave, but for those glorious one to
two minutes before I had to swallow it was incredible. I soon learned
that if I held my nostrils together and blew, I could reproduce the
effect and I began doing it whenever I'd listen to music - whole
sections of my desert-island songs would shimmy to the front in ways
I'd never heard while lyrics I could never quite make out came
screaming to my brain like waves of chocolate fury. But then, I'd
swallow, and it was gone. It was back to saying "What?!" anytime
someone tried to speak to me in a loud place, back to executing my
little cross-to-someone's-other-side-pirouette whenever I found myself
on someone's useless right side, back to smiling and nodding in
response to someone's sentence which might as well have been Swahili
for all I understood.

But tomorrow it's time to fix that.

After an exhaustive hunt for facts involving three different doctors,
a law-school's worth of tests and two postponements due to
un-postponable colds, it's time to open her up and see what we can
fix. The ear-popping trick was pushing two things together that
weren't touching and at one thirty tomorrow Dr. Lim rides in to town
to clean out the riff-raff and mend some bridges.I bought a new
THX-certified home theater system for Christmas because of a rebate I
never used, and after tomorrow I'm looking forward to finding out
exactly what that means.

And yes I'm doing this cause I want to, but I'm also doing it because
I owe it to the pubescent little freshman who kept popping his ears to
"Enter Sandman" to say I tried. Life is the culmination of triumphs
over what scares us and that pimply student deserves to know that when
it came time to exit the night and enter the light I went with open
arms, cause that's what I heard I should do.

That and I'm getting some Vicodin.

PocketSawRocket

Yeah I got a saw in my pocket.

UhRocket

Should this be a question? This hospital sucks.

GiveThanksRocket

Its a gift from god!

ApologyRocket

TK as it turns out is handicapped. I now feel bad about my previous
post.

TKsAnAssholeRocket

If this is TK's car, TKs an asshole.

GoalsRocket

You get the feeling hed've rather been a jewler.

FamilyFuRocket

it would be unwise to break into this family's house...

My Way News - Cities Switch Off Lights for Earth Hour

My Way News - Cities Switch Off Lights for Earth Hour: "The environmental group WWF urged governments, businesses and households to turn back to candle power for at least 60 minutes starting at 8 p.m. wherever they were."

Having grown up in the 80s, I couldn't help but picture Macho Man Randy Savage urging me to switch to candle power as Andre the Giant comes and bodyslams him into the beautiful Elizabeth's information desk on the advantages of flourescent lightbulbs.

MakeMeAnIslandRocket

This guy makes islands. Check out his Middle East peace initiave.

http://www.theislandmaker.com

HuhRocket

And they wonder why we're so confused.

InsanityRocket

Sometimes I do miss how insane Damage Control was...

EvolutionRocket

We come from Monkeys.

LetdownRocket

This is a lottery swipe machine to see if you won the lottery. And for
fifty million people their hope and financial ruin end with a little
beep. I think they should spice it up a bit. As you approach a
drumroll starts playing, and you can't get the result until after
you've bested someone in a game of wits. Something like that.

OpenRocket

House of Open. We never close!

PreparedRocket

Thus pilot season I'm gonna go through this many hilighters!

GoingForMyDreamsRocket

I walked all the way to ralphs just to get hilighters to stay in and
work on a script. That's, that's kind of poetic yeah?

PreachRocket

That's pretty deep for a sports bar and grill.

ShouldIDoSomethingRocket

Is this guy dead?

Watchrocket

This is the promise of America.

CompassionRocket

I should have known my ex was mental when, while walking arm in arm
with her along Houston St, we came upon this crippled bird limping
along a concrete divider. She laughed and pulled me onward.

SelfDesctructionNostalgiaRocket

Sometime I really do miss how hard New York parties.

Lightrocket.

Absolut shadow.

LetGoRocket

This sign killed my father.

Hererocket

This is Los Angeles.

Goodrocket.

Thus means I am good. For one hour.

Fedrocket

Itunes was on party shuffle cause I party all the time and a rap song
came on that i did know and i began to groove. About a minute in the
piano had me hooked and my head was bobbing. At a minute thirty, the
rapper laid down a slick rhyme and then passed the mic to Kevin
Fed-er-line, and I realized I had been grooving to K-Feds solo album I
downloaded as a joke. And I realized, the joke was on me.

Jackrocket

I found this old picture of Jack this morning while casually browsing.
He was a good car. He was a good friend.

Blackrocket

Black movies have to have the entire cast in the poster.

Stinkrocket

I can't tell you how bad the elevator at ballys smells. Like twenty
years of people sneaking a puff between reps.

The Thoughtrocket

Peanut butter and rice cakes have impressed me with their power...

The Thoughtrocket

"Oh thank Heaven"? That's a little pretentious. "Oh thank the clerk
who sold it to me" maybe, but Heaven would have better coffee than this.

The Thoughtrocket

Well said.

The Thoughtrocket

We don't fit in nature.

THE THOUGHTROCKET

Trees rock.

And all the actors wait to flail about, texting friends they hope are
cool, making plans they hope will matter.

Little Feet

Little feet.

Hi I'm here to see Dr. Gevorkian.

Sold with, "Just Goose", "All This is is Turkey", and what I bought,
"Lotta Goat".

All the cool kids floss with it.

Some weird borderline psychotic need to nest. To deal with defects by
decorating. I am obsessed, and I match.

This kid is my hero. Plain and simple.

No pressure or anything...

Reading listings for theatrical auditions, I came across one from the
producers of America's Most Wanted, casting for the role of
"Norcal Rapist", who, we can only assume, did some rapin' in and
around Northern California.

Clicking on the breakdown, it specified that anyone auditioning must
look exactly like the police sketch, which leads me to believe that
the only person who would be right for the role, is the Norcal Rapist
himself. So, because of this casting snafu, this episode is never
going to get made, and the Noral Rapist will further evade capture.

It is in this way that Hollywood ruins everythying.

Mornings like this morning where waking up in my amazingly comfortable bed I stuff my head further down into the down and wonder where I made the move one way when I should have gone the other. They’re not things you can regret – these steps you’ve taken, reguardless of the patern you used, it led you here, and nothing can change that. The only degree of change you can exerpt is on what steps you have yet to take, and if you’d like to learn about these steps send $25 to Ben Morrison care of “Steps to the Stairs of Life”, 5409 Carlton Way, Los Angeles, CA.